The following are ways to determine whether a truck is company owned:
- Company trucks travel faster in all gears.
- They accelerate much faster than personal trucks, leaving tire marks on pavement.
- They enjoy a much shorter braking distance, leaving more tire marks.
- They can take bumps at twice the speed of private trucks.
- Company trucks normally require oil changes at 100,000 mile intervals.
- Their floors are shaped like ash trays, and accommodate milk cartons, coke bottles, leftover food, and
paper wrappers.
- They can be driven 100 miles or more with the oil pressure light flashing.
- They are adapted to allow the transmission to be shifted into reverse while going forward at 20 mph.
- Their tire walls are designed for bumping into and over curbs.
- Unusual and alarming engine noises are easily eliminated by turning the radio volume up.
- Company trucks are not designed to be washed or waxed or to retain hubcaps.
- All company trucks have many dents in the body, inflicted by a mysterious person called "not me".
